because here I am home
I heard their strong bugle and watched as the sandhill cranes
landed on the soggy earth; earth recently revealed after months of frozen
slumber. On graceful legs they moved in unison
searching the ridges and crevices of the ground for sustenance.
Above me, clouds moved swiftly like the birds, constant and
unchanging in their flow.
On a distant slope four deer emerged from the tree line and
crossed the field together at soft angles until they disappeared behind more
distant trees.
Almost beyond sight the sandhills continued to troll the
earth together.
Rain began to fall, and I heard its drops land on the roof
of my car and on the soft ground outside my open window, and I heard the calls
of secluded songbirds sound between them.
I backed my car from bare road onto the paved one, hoping to
prevent my tires from becoming stuck in the increasing softness of the soft
earth.
And as I turned to pull away from the view that grew me
whole again. Seeing it recede in my rearview mirror I knew why the presence of
nature, even as found in patchy sections of tilled-up farmland has always been
my equanimity.
Because outside was safer than inside, because peace is
knowing your place among everything else.
Because here, I am not wrong or right, I carry no judgment or praise,
no failure or success, because nature balances nature. Because here I am not the scale, but a weight
in the balance of all things.
Because here I am me and I am nothing. Because here I am home.
With gratitude,
Joanna
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